Friday, November 7, 2014

Play dates and attitudes

Today, E , I, and myself went to a friend and fellow home school family's house. I realized how many similarities there are between that mom and myself and her children and mine. Recognizing my oldest daughter's (8) attitude encompassed in her oldest daughter (7). The same whine that I hear daily from my youngest (3) coming from her youngest (3). And also the helpful, strong willed, strong minded, helper with an attitude middle children (5). The tired, a bit worn out, on the verge of going loony mom face that both of us moms showed. 
It was my daily life as a Mommy almost mirrored, with the exception of the fact that at the end of the day she has a husband come home to her and I am a single mom. We discussed the kids learning styles, their constant boredom, and the lack of understanding of why our children always seem to act nicer, kinder, more well mannered, and happy with other people. I came home thinking about the day. Why do kids act this way? Is it their age? Their birth order? The lack of strength behind us as female figures? But, in the end the thing that I realized is that I am not alone. She is not alone. There are others like us. 
We both do our best to parent peacefully and let our kids be kids and they will definitely remember our love and continually being there for them, as they grow and mature. We may be scared of how they will act as teenagers and going through puberty, but we will always have someone around that will have a similar situation and that we can talk to and cry to and laugh with. Our kids are young. They have yet to figure out how to express their feelings, but I am 25 and still have that problem from time to time. 
We aren't doing anything wrong, we aren't yelling or spanking, we aren't giving them terrible punishments for having a bad day. We are giving them the freedom to have a bad day and to know that it is okay. We are giving them even more love and a lap to sit on and extra cuddles, because they deserve that. I know when I am having a bad day, those are the things that I long for. No one should be punished for being upset, even if it is because someone put the wrong shoes on their Monster High doll. Who am I to say that isn't something to get upset about? 
Being a parent is tough, but it is the happiest, proudest, most rewarding and heart boasting thing that I have ever been. I have those days where I feel that I need a break from being a mom and then I hear a little person tell me that they love me or give me a big squeeze around my neck and I forget the stress. I forget the worries and overwhelmed feelings, even if it just for a moment. 
I know that these kids have a big world surrounding them and a big world that they will one day experience without me right there holding their hand, but I have vowed to be there for them. I want them to trust me enough and for us to be the best of friends and for them to never fear talking to me or showing emotions. 
Today, was an eye opener. I know now that there are other parents going through similar emotions and attitudes and feeling that they are alone. Luckily, we both know that we have these similarities and don't fear being alone in this parenting journey and thankfully we both have that respect for our children. I felt a little bit of the weight taken off of my shoulders, knowing that I am not doing a terrible job helping these kids grow up. 
When you feel like you are at your wits end and that you are alone, just know that there is someone out there going down the same road that you are. The path may have a few different bumps and hills, but there are a thousand similarities. Hopefully, you will find one or a few of these people to walk with in your parenting journey, to help you realize that you are not alone, and I hope that you have the strength and courage to talk to them. (and that's coming from me, the mildly shy, introvert)

I pray that you all have peace in your life and give kindness to everyone that you meet!

Love, 
ME :)

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